The Big Question at McDonald's

"So teach us to number our days

   that we may get a heart of wisdom."

Psalm 90:12

     Clouds began to gather over the expansive Indiana sky south of Indianapolis.  The small town pastor and his family were traveling to Louisville after an extended visit with friends near Marion.  The kids were tired after a few hours of driving and dad decided an ice cream cone from McDonald's could certainly brighten everyone's spirits for the final ninety minutes to their next stop.

     A few drops of rain hit the pastor's head as he helped his youngest son from the van.  His wife and kids were already inside.  It didn't take long for everyone to give their requests to dad.  A nice lady was working the front counter and efficiently took the ice cream order--four ice cream cones, one strawberry sundae and a plain cup of ice cream.

     The pastor's oldest son had on a Georgia Bulldog shirt and the nice lady at the counter asked the pastor, "Are you and your family from Georgia?"

     "Yes, we live in south Georgia about two hours south of Atlanta?"

     She smiled.  "Are you near Macon?"

     "Yes.  About an hour South."

     "I lived in Macon for nearly three years but moved back here to Indiana four years ago."

     The pastor was taking a request from his youngest daughter.  "No honey, you can not have fries, just the ice cream.  Have you worked here long?"

     "Yes, about a month after I moved back."

     The nice lady delivered all the ice cream to the pastor and his family and they quickly found seats in the corner.  After a bit, the pastor was finishing up his ice cream cone and saw the nice lady cleaning up around the drink fountain.  As she wiped up spilled soda,  he got a sense that he should go and speak with her.  The pastor, who didn't always feel comfortable talking with strangers, got up and walked towards the lady.  He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to say.

     "So tell me, why did you move to Georgia?"

     With a smile, "Oh, I met the most wonderful man.  He was a truck driver and he asked me to marry him.  We lived in Macon and had a wonderful life together."  Suddenly, the nice lady's expression changed.  "He started having some heart trouble.  Eventually, he had a massive heart attack and he died.  It was so hard because he was so good to me.  My friends around here couldn't believe I had left the only place I had ever lived, my grand kids and my children, to move to Georgia with him.  He would take me fishing at the lake nearby and down near Jacksonville at the ocean.  We traveled together when he drove his truck.  He always made me laugh.  I think I laughed more in the three years that we were married than I did my entire life.  I had been married before but my first husband was so cruel.  I thought I would  never love another man again but when I met him..."  Her voice trailed off as tears began to come.

     "I'm so sorry to hear that," the pastor said.

     "When I moved back here.  Well...all I do is work, eat and sleep.  I don't even feel like I am really living but just going through the motions of life.  My daughter and some of my best friends told me when I would ask why did this happen that God must have a reason.  I tell you what, I haven't known what that reason is.  I have been so sad and angry and depressed for four years just not knowing what to do about."  The lady paused and looked at the pastor in the eye.  "You're the first person I have talked about this ever.  I just felt like I needed to tell you.  Why do you think my husband died?"

     Without absolute clarity, the pastor was immediately struck by Psalm 90:12.  With as much love and tenderness as he could muster, he told the lady, "Your husband died because we don't live forever.  Our lives are limited and we do not have an unlimited supply of tomorrows.  God wants us to recognize that everyday we have is a gift.  When we recognize this, he says that we are growing in wisdom.  We have life because of him. He is forever but our lives in this world are not."

     The lady's eyes brightened as she dabbed them with a napkin she had taken from the dispenser.  "You're right.  We don't live forever.  I have forgotten that everyday is a gift."

     The pastor asked the lady, "Are you a follower of Jesus?  Are you a Christian?"

     Nodding her head, "Yes, but I have not wanted to go back to church.  I haven't been able to handle everyone saying it was going to be o.k. and that they were praying for me.  But somehow, that seems the good thing to do now."

     "I bet your pastor and the people of the church want to love on you and support you through this hard time."

     The lady smiled.  "Yes, I know they will.  I need to get back there this Sunday.  I've got to get back to the counter but how interesting that you and I talked about this.  I would have never dreamed that this would happen.  I somehow think that things are going to be better.  I feel so..."  The nice lady smiled again.

     "Let me pray for you before you go back to the counter."

     Right there by the soda fountain, the pastor prayed for the nice lady that worked at McDonald's.  They hugged and she went back to work behind the counter.  The pastor and his wife loaded their kids up in the van and drove off to Louisville.

Rodney Bradford, Arabi Baptist Church

Psalms Help Us Answer the Big Questions

Everyone has big questions.  As a pastor, I have had the distinct privilege of people asking me their big questions.  They have been asked in the hallway of a hospital.  They have been asked standing beside a coffin.  They have been asked on a boat while fishing.  They have been asked behind pick up trucks, on front porches, at kitchen tables, on hiking trails, during beach retreats and on living room couches.  The big questions often come out of the ashes of a tragedy or a hurt or an unexpected experience.  The big questions come when someone has been shaken to the very core of their being.  The big questions challenge everything a person thought they believed.  The big questions are the ones reveal the foundation upon which a person stands.


So how have I answered the big questions?


I always try to give the honest truth.  The biblical truth.  The truth that we have revealed to us about God and our lives and our experiences in the word.


When I answer the big questions, I have learned that I do not have to defend God.  Oh, I have empathized with people in their hurts.  It hurts when someone you love unexpectedly dies.  It hurts when you have been mistreated by someone who claims to be a Jesus follower.  It hurts when a dream dies.  It hurts when a spouse walks out.  It hurts when you thought those that were friends are not.  It hurts when you tried to do everything right and it turns out so wrong.


Often I direct people with big questions, especially for people who are hurting, toward the Psalms. The Psalms give us perspective when our vision in limited.  The Psalms cry out for us when we do not know how to cry out.  The Psalms remind us of the difficult things.  The Psalms cause us to consider the things that we would rather forget.  The Psalms give us light.


Over the years, it has been a powerful thing to watch a person who has struggled through a big question and then see them go to the Psalms and watch God do His mighty work.  Sometimes, as a person comes out on the other side of the big question it is in a different place than they might have thought.  Is the pain any less hard?  Is the experience any less difficult to face?  The Psalms are used of God to lead us to the place that we need not necessarily what we thought we wanted.


In the darkest of days and when it seems the weight of our big question will crush us, we find a Psalm at just the right time that has exactly what we need.


If there is one thing I have learned, it is that in the midst of our big question we find--in the Psalms--that God is bigger than our question yet oh so close!


Rodney Bradford, Arabi Baptist Church 

Iron Sharpens Iron

I want to first of all thank my Father in heaven for affording me the blessing of being able to meet with a group of men that have been spiritual fathers, mentors and brothers-at-arms in the work of the ministry. In the time that I have known these other men I have been confronted with the simple and yet profound truths of God's holy Word. For this gift I will be eternally grateful.

The Proverb says: "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." (Proverb 27:17, NLT). I chose this particular translation because it expresses the sentiment that I feel toward the men that I have the privilege of meeting with on a weekly basis. I have been challenged to think, pray, read, study and push deeper into the things that matter to God each week. We have encouraged each other and have prayed for one another. We have journeyed together over that last year seeking and finding the God who promised He would make himself known to those that truly desire to find God.

There are a couple of observations that I want to make about this group, based on the words of this proverb. First, the quality of the substance is equal. It is "iron" on "iron". There is a compatibility of firmness and composition. This does not mean that they are identical, but they are similar enough to be considered in the same category. I find this to be a significant fact because if we were "unequally yoked" we could not be able to spur each other on to grow and delve more deeply into what God is working out in each of us.

Second, there is a second connection between the two "iron's". There is a genuine relationship shared between the two. The ESV, NKJV, NASB and NIV all translate this second clause in a similar way, "as one man sharpens another." It is the New Living Translation that highlights the implication that there is a relationship of friendship and camaraderie that exists and that fosters this mutual instruction and growth. If there is going to be genuine accountability, discipline and development then those with whom you meet must be close enough to you to rub those things off that are not edifying and good for growing in righteousness. There can be no sharpening without abrasive contact.

With these two observations in mind I would like to provide some characteristics of this roundtable group that have proven invaluable and transformative in my faith journey. This is not an exhaustive list, but represents the keys that I have observed and enjoyed in the time that we have been meeting together.

1. Consistent Attendance: This is probably the most important characteristic of the five. Knowing who is going to be there and what to expect is liberating and encourages all the members to come and participate. Our friendships have grown deeper and richer. We are not merely exchanging platitudes and soundbites of information.
   
2. Transparent Discussion: Our biases are on display. We all come from different theological traditions and yet we never forget that the reason we can get together, enjoy each others company and be built up is because of our common hope and faith in Jesus. Those first few weeks were interesting because there was a lot of probing and questioning to "make sure" that there was not something amiss.
   
3. Genuine Affection: There is a true affection for the other members of the group. This love for one another has come from growing friendships and shared experiences. There are not many secrets and because of the transparency that we have chosen to exercise the group recognizes how special these bonds and the time spent together truly are.
   
4. Humble Consideration: Possibly, to me anyway, this has been one of the more encouraging and needed aspects of our meetings in the church basement. I have never felt that what I said or what I proposed would be dismissed out of hand because I did not share the same perspective with the other members of the group. To be heard encourages a desire to hear. This is where the sharpening takes place. There is give and take. Not so much in what we believe, but in our convictions and understanding of how to articulate and defend the beliefs that we hold to.
   
5. Candid Engagement: Connected to Humble Consideration is Candid Engagement. Consideration has to do with hearing what someone else says. But Engagement, as I am thinking of it, is the process of response. Things have been said to one another that could have been taken as mean spirited, demeaning, rude or even insulting had the context been different or if the audience were of a different composition. But one of the purposes of getting together is to sharpen one another for the battle that is being waged. It is in this pointed and sometimes painfully direct process we are confronted with our own assumptions and are forced to stand or fold. Learning to be candid and loving is a balancing act that can only be learned in a safe and genuine environment.

It is for these reasons and probably a few more that I have enjoyed and benefited from our Church Basement group. I have come to realize that if I desire to become all that God has promised and prepared for me, some time being sharpened by brothers (and sisters) in the faith is part of the price to be paid to get there.

Father, I want to thank you for your love and mercy. You are worthy of all that I have to offer and more. I have been blessed by the men that you have brought into my life. You have provided a safe place for us to gather and fellowship and study and pray. We are indebted to You because of your unfailing love in Christ. Help us to continue to sharpen one another. Allow us to hold each other accountability so that we might live lives worthy of the calling and Gospel you have entrusted to us. Amen.

COMMUNITY--A Good, Strong Rope

ECCLESIASTES 4 
⁹Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.¹⁰For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹²And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
(ESV)




In today's Christian world, "doing life together" and "becoming a community" are some popular catch phrases.  They most certainly have the full backing of Scripture.  Think of the first century church and their life together as Jesus followers (Acts 1, 4).  Paul's letters are filled with the phrase "one another" and how believers are to lovingly relate.  Consider these few examples:


Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.  Romans 12:10


Live in harmony with one another.  Romans 12:16


Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.  Romans 14:13


So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another—  
1 Corinthians 11:33


Greet one another with a holy kiss.
2 Corinthians 13:12


For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.  
Galatians 5:13


Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2


Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32


Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices...  Colossians 3:9


Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11


See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.  1 Thessalonians 5:15


But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.  Hebrews 3:13


In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon is taking a good, hard look at life.  One of his wise discernments is that it is good for people to "do life together."  In 4:9-12, he speaks of the many practical benefits in being surrounded with others to lend you a hand.


I must admit, my observation of many churches and believers has been that this is not a natural default for people--even believers that have spent many years as members of congregations.  Most Christians tend to live and believe in very individualistic terms.  They tend to struggle all alone.


For that matter, this individual focus is perpetuated in much of the Christian literature of the day.  The individual is the trump of all things.


Several years ago, I heard Mark Dever, Pastor of Capital Hill Baptist Church in Washington, D.C. say, "Christianity is personal but not private."  He went on to explain that each individual must respond personally, in faith, to the Gospel call.  However, following Christ is not something we do alone.


When a person says that they do not need to go to church to worship God--and by that they mean a life where church involvement is optional--they have seriously underestimated God's teaching.  All of the "one another" commands and exhortations in the Bible assume groups of believers that are in community with one another.  Much of the Bible has for its' focus, the audience of many, not one!  It is a very different understanding a person reaches when one says, "The Bible was written to US" rather than "ME"!


I have the distinct pleasure of pastoring a local congregation.  I believe we are learning, more and more, how to be a true community of believers loving and supporting one another.  We have room for growth.


I also benefit from gathering with a group of pastors for conversation, Bible reading prayer and the eating of Mexican food.  It is good for my soul to have a group of men who are "in the trenches" with me.  It is good to personal walk with God to communally have opportunity to confess my sin and have men speak into my life--especially to help me with my blind spots.


Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is a great model for us "doing life together."  We do well when we know and live them.  Let us pray them for our churches  and for our gatherings with other believers...

"Lord, let there be a good return of Gospel and church work as we work together.  Help us recognize it is better to work together rather than alone.  Father, help us be a church that lifts one another up.  Never let us see our brothers and sisters floundering physically or spiritually and be passive.  Strengthen us to take the risk to get involved!  Help us give comfort and the warmth of relationship to each other.  Father, help us battle together.  Let it never be said of our family of Jesus-followers that we ever leave one open to attack!  Help us, Father, to keep encouraging one another, so much, that we will be constantly strengthened to keep pressing on in faith.  The we are given courage to take risks for the sake of the Gospel.  I ask that as we love one another, that those who are not in relationship with you see our love and are drawn to your good gospel through our spirit empowered life together.  All for your glory Father!  Amen!"


Rodney Bradford, Arabi Baptist Church